I FAILED.

I failed D2 and it nearly destroyed me mentally. To be fair, I started a new job in December of 2023 which was no small project. I was part of the opening of the Signia by Hilton hotel, the largest hotel in the last 10 years or so. 976 rooms to be exact. I accepted a salary position and immediately set to start a wine program from scratch. It was stressful and very difficult on me physically and mentally. I was working 90 hr weeks. I didn’t see my friends for about 2-3 months, and I needed to start studying for D2 which would be in March. I never studied. I skimmed the text. I did some illustrations, but I never put in the effort to internalize. I crammed the week before the exam and memorized as much as I could to the point where I felt decent enough to just pass.

I failed.

That email in the morning was probably the worst punch to my stomach feeling that I’ve ever experienced. I think I cried for 7 days straight and went in to work with puffy eyes everyday. To be a failure while working as much as I was and having absolutley no joy in my life, was enough to bring me into a very dark place.

I’ve since dealt with my failure and I know that I really didn’t deserve to pass. I stepped back from work and gave myself the room to enjoy life and my friends. This wasn’t overnight. I got into therapy and really started to put in the work to change my perspective and I can honestly say that I am in a much better place. I decided to slow down and not let a setback define my ability to learn.

Please prioritize yourself. The certification doesn’t matter as much as the journey. Learning the material is the most important part. I decided to take my time and be kinder to myself. I took the summer off and it was absolutely beautiful. I think this was probably the best summer I’ve had in my adult life. I’ve learned what drives me to edge, and what brings me back and I don’t ever want to be back in the position where I hate wine. I’m writing this because I don’t want anyone to feel like education is a race and that IT IS OK TO FAIL.

I’ve since taken D5 (Fortifieds) and I passed! I’m now doing D6 (Research paper on Virginia) which is due in January, and then I’ll get into D4 (sparkling wines). I am enjoying also studying French Wine Scholar, which I don’t know when I will take but I believe that this will set me up for a smooth D3 exam.

I’m curious to know how many others also went through this!